20. Logan Ury: How To Not Die Alone (The Science of Finding Love)

My guest today is Logan Ury, the author of How To Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love. Logan studied psychology at Harvard, ran Google’s behavioral science team, and now works at the dating app Hinge and as a dating coach.

In our conversation, Logan shares advice on what really matters in a long-term partner and what doesn’t, the pros and cons of online dating, why you shouldn’t focus on the initial spark or chemistry on a date, the difference between falling in love and being in love, and so much more.

TIMESTAMPS:

• [00:44] - Why modern dating is so hard
• [03:55] - The 3 dating tendencies (or what’s holding you back in dating) 
• [08:10] - Attachment styles and how it affects your dating life
• [12:00] - Myths around the spark and love at first sight
• [16:37] - The traits that actually matter in a long-term partner
• [20:50] - Vetting for a life partner
• [25:36] - Why you should go on more second dates
• [28:47] - How to make dates more fun and less like job interviews
• [33:00] - Tips for staying in love 
• [35:40] - How to know when you found the person you want to marry
• [38:50] - A book that had a huge impact on Logan’s life

Resources:

• Twitter: @loganury
• Website: loganury.com

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